.. contemplative mood...

Chinese new year has arrived. another year has passed.. literally. time really flies.
have been in this contemplative mood every time new year comes... normally will go out for a run and reflect on things but now sick.. so go thru this self-indulgent on-line diary.

it almost a month in Dunman High School... I like the school environment, shared the same education philosophy as the P and VP and I guess many of the teachers there... students are great. must confess that when i was first asked to join the school and take on the portfolio of PD, it took a while to sink in and decide. Especially when I am about to fill the super big sized shoe of Mr Kiw, Qiu laoshi, who is highly regarded as the pillar and the legend of Dunman High. it's a very big shoe I must say. I have great respect for Qiu laoshi, talking to him and asking him for advice is intellectually stimulating and great learning experience. There are so much insights in what he says, guess this really is life's experience, which I would have to go thru in my own path.

But do I want to imitate or emulate Qiu laoshi? I don't think I can and I don't think I would want to. becos there is simply no way i can do that. Everyone is different, that's what I believe in, be it an adult or a student. Times has also changed and do we still want to apply the same blanket rules across and discipline our dunmanians out of fear and awe? Personally, I won't. Becos these students are really in their teens and instead of ruling them thru ïron fist", I would rather that they learn to respect and behave responsibly. They would need to learn that different contexts has their own sets of rules and they just have to learn to internalise them so that whenever they go next time, they can behave in a responsible manner. Of course, in a sch context, rules are set in place based on educational principles, based on the core values that DHS expounds and also the well-being of the students.

sad to say, a lot of criticism came in both from staff and students when certain rules are tighten and/or loosen to project a positive Dunmanian image and to give students some freedom. "could we have clear guidelines on what to wear and what not to wear?", "can this be worn?", you äre the ones who make these changes, so ...", "how I wish we could go back to last time"... Can we have some professionalism here? can we let the students negotiate what is appropriate as a student image and guide them along the way and not just dictate???!!? I would rather build on the trust that we have on all dunmanians as responsible individuals... there will bound to be some who need extra guidance, these, we will provide them with some intervention measures...

sigh.. guess the mouth is theirs, but really really, i don't want to turn back the clock. guess the only thing i could do is to slowly convert these resistance or that human tends to go for the familiar and certainty.. any ambiguity tends to make people uncomfortable, becos it disrupts their comfort zones... which perhaps is bound to happen in any form of change. ... and also there is always a transition period in any change rite?

The other observation that I have, which I really want to help build is the students capacity as leaders. there are so many of them with potential but perhaps not given enough platforms to shine either as formal appt holders or as students. empowerment is the word. i really hope that one day, in the near future, students in the forefront running the school confidently and actively(of course with guidance from teachers 8-)). that's what sch is for, for the students rite?

mmm... am working towards that. hopefully, I don't have to stand at the podium during flag raising... really don't like to do that... so Army like... mmm... may target by term 2.. haha... must asks Boss's opinion first... and also must train the student leaders.

one thing I also observe is the heavy involvement of the students in so many things... guess it's inevitable... but really scare they burn out. .. guess this is PD's jobscope. 8-)

was having reunion dinner with mum, dad, wife and bb. this yr's a bit the quiet... as sis just got married and went to her in-law's place. mmm... mum and dad's getting old, mum is having this cough like for 2 months. really treasure the times with them... it often dawns on me that the clock is ticking, parents won't be there for and with u forever... reflecting on some of things i said and do... i sometimes have deep regrets.. only thing i can make up now is to spend quality time with them...

life and death... life is unpredictable, the stall 5 noodle uncle in our sch canteen passed away last week... suddenly, I was like shell shocked for quite a while... i mean I just saw him happily serving students the week before and suddenly, he just passed on... sigh, reminds me of my extreme sadness when my own uncle passed away. he has been very close to our family. conclusion i have is really treasure your loved ones around you. think of the consequences of what u say or do to them.

guess i have enough of contemplating... betta sleep, tomorrow go house visits to distribute angbaos... 8-P

penned on da nian chu yi, 2:16 am