“A lake is a landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature. It is Earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden
In an attempt to revive this blog, I shall post a reflection of my three months in Melbourneas part of my MEd. In any case, this post has been long overdue, not so much because I have nothing to say, but really I had too much to reflect upon. The other "tripping stone" that has been stopping me from penning down my thoughts is this final "research report" or termed as Critical Inquiry which I need to submit. I dread this last assignment, too much writing made me miss my students, colleagues even more.
anyhow, enough of blabbering. let me think...
Space and smelling the aroma
Lighthouse, Cape Schnack
As I reflected on my choice to finish my last two modules in melbourne, and the 10 weeks stay there, the first thing that comes to my mind is Space. It is not just the physical space (I don't think I need to state the obvious between the size of Australia, Victoria or even Melbourne to that of Singapore); but more the visual, mental and emotional space. Personally, i just felt a sense of relief, and a sense of space in which I started embracing whatever comes visually, auditorily, emotionally and mentally in a eager yet paced manner. Suddenly, what I have been so uptight about at home becomes insignificant when I am encountered with such space. Some people might say you are just playing games in your head, it is just mental. But I tends to think it is important to have that kind of space, because it will open a person up, especially so in a highly urbanized landscape in a small island like Singapore. perhaps, this is part of process of soul searching. We need to get out of our country and see the world and I believe every child should be given that opportunity, not just those with "social/cultural capital" (Bourdieu).
Maroondah Dam
With this mental space, I have been able to smell the roses, inhale the aroma of the coffee, taken in the scents of the city, culture and nature. These, to me, are intangibles that cannot be measured or quantified but are crucial in forming the social fabric and identity ("soul") of the place.
Perfections and embracing Imperfections
Flinders Street Train Station
Melbourne has been ranked as the top most livable city in the world. There are reasons for it which I won't expound on and of course, the use of ranking and the process of ranking has always been contentious. Despite its top rank, it does not mean that there are no less-than-desirable areas. However, I would argue that it is the presence of imperfections that give this city character and more importantly, life. for instance, I am so used to the quick and efficient ways of doing things back home that when the pace of service and doing things dropped few notches down, when things don't meet the expectations that i am used to, it puts me off at first. yet, After a while, and upon reflecting, I just ask myself, "so, what the rush, mate?". Indeed, it is, why should I be imposing context from home to another entirely different context? My own perception is that it seems to be in human's nature to compare the unfamiliar with familiar. Nevertheless, sometimes we have to live with imperfections to be alive; in fact, nothing is perfect, and it is about embracing what we encounter, seeing things in their contexts. In a way it is linked to my previous learning point, to stay open to anything and find meaning and make the best out of it.
small alley somewhere in town
Which is where I become critical here. I feel many a times back in Singapore, in our quest to be the numerically number 1 in everything we do, to be the most perfect of the perfect in the name of survival, we become intolerant of any imperfections. everything seems too clinical, organic-ness replaced by highly structured and automated modes. Is it good or bad? Shades of grey I would say.
Having said all these, I must qualify that there are many areas that I enjoy and appreciate about Singapore, and I love this place we call home. 8)
Embracing imperfections, I should say.
Life and framing life
Hanging Rocks
couple sitting at bench overlooking lighthouse at Cape Schnack
In the 10 weeks in Melbourne, made me realize how life is so unpredictable; two persons that i have the privilege to cross paths with only a couple of years back passed on, suddenly and unexpectedly. It was like what the chinese saying goes, 当头棒喝.
What do I want in life? this has been a constant question in my mind all these years. I don't think I have a clearcut answer, although there is clearer direction for me, now than before. One thing that I had adopted as a framal reference is not to be too concerned about pursuits of tangibles, let me try to express this in chinese, 就是不要计较得失，或把得失看得太重。 不过，说易做难，尤其是当你觉得自己在工作或事情上牟足了全力，自然而然的，就希望某种程度上的认可 （我也不例外）。但是，在教育领域里打滚了十六载，或多或少也让我看到尝到酸甜苦辣咸个中滋味，抑或是所谓的“中年危机”（midlife crisis）。不过，我总是相信越在意得失，越会患得患失，一切顺其自然，随遇而安，但是，我必须补充的是，最重要的是要享受工作和办事的那个过程，并且为身边的人和自己带来意义，认可以否就既来之也，则安之，又何须强求呢？这或许听来，非常消极。毕竟，在新加坡这个讲求效益效率的社会，当高官或人民的代议士需要高薪来养才和显示身份地位时，我这个”曲调“可说是“曲高和寡”或“自鸣清高”。
But having said that, this chain of thought, which has been buzzing in my head for quite a long time reminded me of a saying by 诸葛亮， “淡泊明志，宁静致远”. This phrase comes from his writing to his children , "戒子篇" as a reminder, “夫君子之行：静以修身，俭以养德。非淡泊无以明志，非宁静无以致远。夫学须静也，才须学也。非学无以广才，非静无以成学。慆慢则不能研精，险躁则不能理性。年与时驰，意与日去，遂成枯落，多不接世。悲守穷庐，将复何及”！Again, this might sound very defeatist and pessimistic. However, in the highly globalized and materialistic societies we are in, when temptations overflow and when life is so much more exciting out there as compared to the sheltered environment in schools, to maintain the mindset of calm and serenity and not swayed by temptations, but focusing on finding meanings in intangibles and making a difference without bothering about recognition and material gains needs one's active efforts and resilience.
I am looking forward to framing my life along this direction. 8)
Nature and finding meaning
Mount Macedon
One of the most enjoyable and memorable endeavors in my stay in Melbourne is the daily runs and trekking in and around melbourne, the suburbs and victoria state. The way they conserve nature and maintain their national parks and reserves shows their intentions. it is not about making money or transform the sites into some touristy attractions but rather, to make the visits and walks as natural and as enjoyable and as accessible for everyone, with minimal disturbances to the existing habitats. I don't think I need to compare it with what is being done back home.
Maroondah Aqueduct track
Whatever is the case, I think I have babbled and ranted enough. Guess it is in us to naturally be affectionate to the past/the familiar, especially so, when encountering unfamiliarities and change, like what an old friend says, "人总是念旧的“. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, as Søren Kierkegaard says, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
For me, it is keeping an open mind and to live life.
学会惜福，知足常乐。
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